Separation Pains

Separation Pains-The first night away from bear

This week has been a complete mixture of bittersweet memories & emotions for me: on the one hand I’ve been put through the mill of surgery, recovery & my very first night away from bear *sob*. Yet on the other hand, I’ve experienced complete elation to find out I’ve been shortlisted for a blogging award (I feel like one of the cool kids for a change!) Two completely opposite sides of the ‘emotional’ spectrum there, I think you’d agree? In all honesty, I’m not entirely sure if any of these events from the past week have quite sunk in just yet (I’m blaming the darn anaesthetic!).

ordinary moment, hospital, bibs, awards, cool bananas, cool bananas blogChoosing to write down & record this perfectly ordinary moment of my very first night spent away from bear, is one that I’m so pleased to have captured, but I’m painfully aware may cause a stir amongst y’all out there: For I cannot count the amount of times others have deemed it necessary to criticise me for not doing this sooner (bear is 2)- fellow parents & non parents alike. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for opinions: Opinions are great, they make the world go round & life more interesting. But, please, it is perfectly acceptable to Agree to disagree….I am not a child, please do not tell me what I should or shouldn’t do: I’ve developed a coping mechanism for reacting to these do-gooders: Smile & nod, smile & nod. Rant over, lets continue!

Please understand this: I have no problem with parents who are happy & comfortable to leave their precious kiddisquinkles in the capable hands of rellies or babysitters overnight-in fact kudos to them. I applaud you for being brave & confident enough to do this. Truth be told, I’m a bit of a control freak & my OCD kinda flips into overdrive at the thought of bear’s routine going out of sink. Oh & I find it really really difficult to trust people. Yup folks, I’ve got trust issues (quick send me to the Therapy chair!).

Casanova Chaise Lounge

Image credit.

I’ve also had no need or desire to be apart from snotface at night. No offers have presented themselves which have been too good to refuse: a 5* spa break, a weekend away to the sun? Nope. So frankly I’ve been happy to return home to the comfort of my own bed. I’ve just not been emotional ready to face it & I guess I’ve actually been putting it off.

On Tuesday I had to have some planned surgery, all rather routine to the medical world but a teeny bit daunting to me nonetheless. Scheduled as ‘day surgery’ I expected to return home on the same day & naïvely thought that being the fit & healthy gal I am, I’d bounce back immediately & return to normality pronto! Oh Katrina….tut tut, that was so wrong. I didn’t head into theatre until late afternoon, so it was obvious early on this ‘day surgery’ case would likely overspill slightly. I had difficulty recovering & awakening from the anaesthetic. Is it wrong that I was actually kinda looking forward to a little bit of peaceful sleep? (& Even 5 days post op, I’m still feeling very spaced out) I physical couldn’t move, couldn’t drink or eat. & For a control freak like moi this is not a good place to be, thank goodness then I was far too woozy to absorb most of this.

surgery, cool bananas, cool bananas blog

The decision to stay in hospital overnight therefore was taken out of my hands, & despite being drugged up to my eyeballs, even I could see this was the best decision given the circumstances. A drip had to be administered & constant obs taken throughout the night (What happened to my dreamy thought of a perfectly serene sleep?!)

hospital, surgery, cool bananas, cool bananas blog

My bed for the night….

Given my hesitance (or perhaps that should be defiance) to leave bear overnight, I was pleasantly surprised by my reaction: I felt perfectly happy & calm for this to occur. Admittedly, there wasn’t really much leeway on the decision & I believe ultimately this assisted in calming my nerves.

Although the situation surrounding my first night of ‘child’ separation left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth, it’s given me the assurance to know that I can cope with a bit of distance between us. Bear was fine, he didn’t fall apart (or break) & he managed to stay out of too much mischief. The lesson I’ve learned, which in reality I’ve known all along is: It’s me, not him. It’s my insecurities, worries & ‘mothers guilt’ that have held me back & apprehended me thus far from longer stints of ‘me’ time. I knew it would just be a matter of time before it felt right to leave him, & even though it wasn’t out of choice or an enjoyable ‘night’ for me, secretly I’m really proud of myself.

its all gravy, cool bananas, cool bananas blog,

Everyone’s circumstances & situations will vary, & of course sometimes these will dictate time spent away from your little munchkins: Work demands naming but one obstacle. & I Take my hat off to all of you whom find yourself in this predicament, who either out of choice or not, are able to part ways with your babies or toddlers for days, even weeks at a time. I pass no judgments; instead I admire your emotional strength. You most certainly won’t hear me offering ‘words of wisdom’, I don’t believe there is a right or wrong answer to this dilemma, & it’s a case of ‘different strokes, for different folks’. People should remain with an open mind & offer support, rather than a critique the choices we make.

The burning question is: am I looking forward to my next ‘night of freedom’? & Actually, my answer is yes: I’ll remain optimistic for that 5* spa break!!

How did you endure on your first night of separation, did you procrastinate as I? Or are you one of the bold I slightly envy for taking the plunge sooner?

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Check out all the other ‘Ordinary moments’ with Katie at MummyDaddymeMakesThree 

Love The Little Things #7

Love the Little Things #7: May day celebrations on the horizon!

butwhymummywhy

It’s Frrrrrridaaaaaay! & As always, it’s that time of the week when Banana lady here hooks up with the wonderful blogging crew over with Le Belle that is Morgana (But Why Mummy Why), for our weekly ‘Little Loves’. A small corner of the interweb, where we share with you a snapshot into our week that was.

My usual jovial & chipper mood has somewhat diminished this week, & I fear I may be communicating on a greater level of bonkersness than ever before: I’m currently recovering from some surgery & I’m pointing my finger at the anaesthetic for wreaking havoc with me! Apologies, but lets be fair: you should know by now I’m slightly daft anyway!

This week I have:

  • Watched:

I do love a good laugh: You know, a rip-roaring belly laugh. That’s exactly what this Haribo advert delivers: If you haven’t seen this commercial yet WHAT? Have you been living under a rock?!

  • Read

The highlight of my week right here! Upon my discharge from hospital, I arrived home to an influx of congratulatory messages from all over twitter. ‘What’s this?’ I pondered. Apparently the shortlist for the BiBs (brilliance in blogging awards) had been announced & little old me had made it on there for ‘Fresh Voice’! Say whaaaat?! Admittedly, I was still feeling very woozy & I wasn’t entirely sure if I had hallucinated this. Nope! IT’S TRUE!!

BIBsI’m still in a state of elation & on cloud 9! I’m very excited & honoured to be gracing the same page as so many ahmaze-balls bloggers. & I have to say such a massive thank you to everyone who got me on the shortlist!

thanks youA ‘Campaign manager’ has been appointed, although she’s swooning of the US-of- A so no doubt slacking on her duties! All is fair in love & war: so if any of you awesome folks could find it in your heart to vote for me I am prepared to offer bribery, in the form of virtual hugs & kisses (Just sayin’) You can vote here

  • Made

Bit of a #fail here this week. Not really ‘made’ much, due to being out of action. However, I’m having someone ‘make’ my blog look a little prettier (does that count?)….keep your eyes peeled in the coming weeks.

  • Heard

I recall saying some seriously ludicrous things (unfortunately out loud rather than in my head) whilst awakening from my drug induced sleep. When the delightful nursing team were wheeling me back into my room, I could make out the TV was on in the background, with that Dreadful man Jeremy Kyle & his truly horrendous show. When the nurse enquired ‘Katrina, are you ok?’ My response was ‘Yeah, I’m ok. But you can turn that shit off’ Whoops- that’ll be the truth tonic talking (Rest assured-once my wits returned I swiftly apologised to the nurse for my foul mouth!)

  • Wore

I donned my Rapunzel hair: loose curls & my braid.

Curls & braids& Ever the professional, I decided to rock my hospital attire, It’ll be a look all over the catwalks in Milan come the autumn!

DVT, socks, cool bananas, cool bananas blog, hospitalSo, we’re approaching the first of two Bank holidays bestowed upon us during May here in the UK, & I am determined to battle through my post op pain & enjoy some Maypole dancing (the tradition for May day) & a 30th Birthday celebration at a swanky establishment this weekend (The poor staff won’t know whats hit ’em with 17 of us rowdy Londoners gathering to ‘chow down!)

Please keep visiting the blog & I promise to be back on top form next week!

What wonderful plans are on the horizon for you?

Dancing, locking & ‘hip hop’ popping!

Dancing, Locking & ‘Hip Hop’ popping……the toddler way.

Suuuup Y’all? Ok, I apologise for all my hip hop slang: for I am a British national so I have no right dropping in this here lingo. But in cool bananas HQ, it is a very regular occurrence. We head ‘state side’ daily (in the virtual sense) as Mr Cool Bananas loves a bit of ‘R&B’, hippedy hop music. MTV base delivers the goods & can be heard more often than is necessary. From a young age bear seems to have picked up his daddy’s musical taste (somewhat to my dismay). Whenever he hears ‘the base line drop’ he likes nothing more than to ‘bust out a move’ & bop along to his hearts content.

mtg, mtg base, dancing, dance, music , R&B, cool bananas, cool bananas blog

Developing his musical taste from an early age..bear’s attention can be found directed towards MTV base pumping out of the tv… & showing off his best moves at a wedding…

dancing, mtv, mtg base, R&B, music, cool bananas, cool bananas blog

‘Daddy dance!’ No dancing would be complete without some kind of crazy outfit-right?

Not quite the ‘Billy Elliot’ I was going for! No, he has a penchant for the likes of Jason Derulo & his slick Rick dance moves, a bit of Usher pop yer collar, or that feisty south American character Pitball.

& My little charmer demands that either Daddy or I dance along with him (I’ll let you imagine that scene for a moment-2 adults dancing their hearts out in the front room, whilst the toddler swings himself around wildly) These are the moments I cherish so dearly: As I know only too well, how quickly time passes us by & that at some point he will be mortified to be dancing like a loon with his parents. In fact,  I’m sure he will go out of his way at parties to shield his friends from witnessing his folks doing the dad/mum dance (that ‘term’ is actually in the oxford dictionary: Noun. Awkward or unfashionable dancing to pop music, as characteristically performed by middle-aged or older men).  

You know the type i mean:

I do appreciate the advances in our technology mean that a camera (god bless my Iphone) is never too far from reach & I’m able to capture some of these moments & create lasting memories that we can reminisce over in the years to come…..& I’m sure they’ll work a treat at embarrassing the poor boy one day in the future! (What? You’ve gotta have a couple of tricks up your sleeve!)

& If I may be bold enough to quote that Shakespeare fella:

If music be the fruit of love, play on! ‘ (Even if I do have to tolerate MTV base now & then).

  • What music gets your teeny tots jiving?

 

P.S Would you believe, I’ve lost a massive chunk of my Iphoto library that contained the best dancing clips! Darn technical glitch. 

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Love The Little Things #4

Love the little things #4

Ahh, it’s the Friday post where I link up with But why mummy why for ‘Love the little things’. Lets all grab a tea & have a catch up: I can guarantee you I’ll only get a couple of sips of my warm beverage before ‘Zee’ mini monster decides there are far more pressing matters for me to contend with & divert my attention away…..

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Instead of ticking things off my ‘to do list’ this week it appears to have grown in size, much to my dismay! I fully intended to be good and ‘knuckle down’, focus blah blah blah. It just didn’t happen. We had decorators here for 3 days (& haha NO. Stop it. This is not a euphemism) & I’m pretty sure they were intent on fumigating me! But on a good note, that does mean our garage conversion is looking more or less finished. & In a bid to complete some blogging tasks I headed over to my parents whilst bear was at nursery (he’s there 2 mornings a week), this ‘experience’ was a mixture of positive & negatives:
  • + Having lunch made for you: there’s nothing like a lunch your mum makes you, am I right?
  • The constant chat: you both can’t help having a little (childfree) natter. A lovely, wonderful bonding occasion, but alas I cannot multi task. Therefore I either (1) talk= no productivity, or (2) I find myself saying ‘I’m sorry mum, but I really need to get this done’= feel guilty & sad, as I do love my girlie time with ‘Ma.
  • Watched

Sesame street: Bears’ new obsession this week. Ironically the episode that’s on repeated  (thanks tiddlers tv,) is about bananas!! (Let’s be clear I’m not a Banana fanatic: ‘cool bananas’ is a phrase!).

On a positive note, bear is kinda in love with eating bananas now so that’s a #win! (Do you think I mentioned Bananas enough just now?!)

  • Read

I’m so happy that my blog is getting some attention & receiving lovely comments. Reading them really boosts my confidence, & it’s so nice getting to know other bloggers better: I feel like y’all are my new BFF’s (too much cheese there?). It’s really touching that people take the time & effort to visit ‘lil old me, but then also leave me a little message (again, sorry. Am I over doing the cheesiness here?). I just wish I had the ability to respond sooner. So a massive thank you!

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I’ve also been doing the rounds of “britmumslive’ official linky reading. I’m going to work on mine over the weekend & I’ll ‘holla when it’s live so y’all can take a glance! (I’m going to try & make it quite unique, hopefully!).
BritMums Live! 2014

 

  •  Heard

The sesame street theme tune will not leave my head! I won’t inflict that upon your ears, but instead i found this. Now i’m madly slightly in love with Will.I.Am (he’s just way too kool for skool) & this Sesame street jam of his is just totally awesome! Never enough cheesiness on a Friday my friends!

  • Made

May I refer you back to my opening paragraph: painting & decorating occurrence within the cool bananas household? So whilst my Instagram feed is rapidly filling up with beautiful Easter bonnets & delightfully yummy looking treats from the bloggersphere (really putting my lack of Easter spirit to shame), not much ‘making’ has come to pass this week for me. But I have made a start to my new ‘blog’ series ‘Wellness in motion’ & published my first post on it! It’s not all about fitness & my snot coloured green juices (honestly!) so please check it out-I want to create a way for ‘health’ to be a positive, stylish & fun prospect to the masses (I may as well throw in world peace to my mission!).

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& I think I made someone smile this week by serenading them with the sweet tones of the ‘black eyed peas’ over a twitter chat (*wink wink* you know who you are!)

  • Wore

I’ve been flirting with my new no.7 Beautifully matte foundation.

no 7, boots, foundation, make up,

For the last 10 years I’ve suffered with acne, & this has left me with some bothersome scarring. Urgh, acne is the bane of my life. Luckily, I’m under the care of the leading acne expert in the UK (prof Chu). I undergo a couple of different treatments every few months. The purpose of which are to (1) prevent acne flare-ups (2) treat the scars: a laser treatment (that’s almost entirely pain free) & a ‘dermaroller’ (that is excruciating). I’m not a huge make up fan & hate the cakey look, but some days I just need a little bit of encouragement & this foundation has been marvelous! The added bonus is I used my boots points & treated myself without spending any pennies! Ooh I do love a good deal! (mr cool bananas is ecstatic that he didn’t have to splash out, ahem, scrooge!)

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I may regret sharing this picture…but this is just before the nasty dermaroller with aenesthetic cream on. Ooh sexy!

There is saying that: ‘all the fun stuff happens outside of your comfort zone’.

Comfort Zone

 

I’ve tried to embrace this, & I’ve pushed myself beyond where I’m cozy: I journeyed into London & attended a couple of ‘press launch’ type events. Whilst I felt like a bag of nerves & probably looked like a dear caught in headlights, I felt very chuffed for putting myself ‘out there’.  Have you done anything lately that’s scared you & pushed you past you’re usual safety barrier?

Hope you all have a sunny weekend!

 

The Bad Mums Club: Bribery & Guilt…

Not Another Mummy Blog

Eeeek! It’s happened! I’ve had a mini-me, & automatically gained entry into that exclusive club, reserved just for mothers. ‘Ooh, well that sounds like a nice club, do you get a cup of tea & biscuit there?’ I bet is what your thinking? Not exactly. But then again yes, tea is a plenty here, all be it only ever half drunk & luke warm (if you’re especially lucky). No this club is the ‘unspoken’ society within the motherhood gang, the one where all manner of ‘judgey pants’ are removed & we air our confessions, to lighten the load but also prove that ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist as a mum. & This is ok. Welcome to ‘the bad mums club’. ‘Tis a badge I’ll display proudly because I’m not really a bad mum: I’m just honest enough to admit my failings here & there, & proud to be keepin’ it real ma hommies (Hey, I’m a mummy but I still know the street lingo y’all!)

I admit, I’m a little bit of a health nut: a green tea drinker, *snot coloured juicer addict & gym bunny. It’s ok though, I balance this out with a good portion of sensible junk in the trunk so we can still be friends, yes? *It’s not actual snot, you understand, it’s just green.

gym, gym bunny, health, fitness, juice, green, green tea, cool bananas

I’d love to impart my healthy choices upon my toddler, in an effort to ease my ‘mum guilt’ for the amount of unhealthy food substances bear stuffs his face with: oh you know, the teddy shaped crisps, squishy cake gloop, biscuits- standard kitchen cupboard snack staples. I’ll try & make the prospect of anything remotely ‘healthy’ entering said mouth, seem like an appealing option that’s just too good to refuse (this constitutes to my evil master plan of bribery!). Even if in reality, these options may be less than desirable, especially to a toddler.

cool bananas, bad mums club, chips, cool bananas, cool bananas blog

Did someone say CHOCOLATE! Chips & ketchup, Cheeeeese!

 

  1. The Cake replacement:

me: ‘bear, we have to go back inside now’

bear: ‘Noooo!’

me: ‘ I tell you what. If we go in, we can have a snack. Would you like some cake?’

bear: ‘mmm, yeah. Cake. Mummy cake’

me: ‘Yup. You can have a cake. A RICE CAKE’

Hahahaha, tricked him there! 1 Point to mummy ..

 

  1. The drink replacement: bear enjoys a tipple of ‘mummy’s’ juice (& sorry to disappoint any wine drinkers out there, this consists of Ribena). When asked if he’d like a drink, he’ll demand I make him ‘Mummy’s juice’ Enter the ingenious liquid solution:

bear loves to get involved with my juicing *rubs hands together* let the scheming begin!

bear: ‘Mummys machine! Juice! Round & round. Makes noise’

me: ‘Yay! That’s right. Do you want to help mummy?

bear: ‘Yeah. Juice!’

me: ‘Oh wow dude! Look what you made! Mmm, Mummy try some & then bear try some? I’ll put it in your special cup?’

bear: ‘mmm, okays mummy’.

Score! Again.

 

  1. The sweet replacement:

The homeopathic types: those secret concoctions that contain calming chamomile & other natural ingredients famed to help you chillax. The size of a sweetener & cased in a sugar like coating. This takes no convincing at all, the sheer mention of ‘sweets’ lights up his little mince pies eyes. Home run!! A healthy option: with the bonus of a more relaxed tot. Win-win!

green juice, rice cakes, sweets, homeopathic, cool bananas, cool bananas blog

Green juice in ‘that’ special cup, Cakes? rice cakes! & Hallelujah calming sweets!

Finally in confessions of a ‘bad mum’ today: in an attempt to let myself have a little escapism & get to the gym, I’ll make out that the crèche is just the most exciting place in the world to be & within their possession are awesome toys, not found anywhere else on the planet: super fast & super-sized big trac-tors, with magical qualities!! Works every time, naughty mummy

Of course I treat myself to a huge slice of the humble ‘mama guilt’ pie, every time I try to use any of these forms of trickery & bribery, but I’m learning to live with it & accept that frankly ‘whatever helps you get through the day’ & works for you is the winner amongst this. I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that whatever I do in a day, it will always be accompanied by guilt: for that is a right of passage through the glorious journey of parenthood.

To find out more about The Bad Mums Club & check if you qualify for entry, head on over to:    But Why Mummy Why