Feminism… *gasp* Why such a bad label?

Feminism….*gasp!* Why such a bad label?
Feminism rocks

Lets start by saying I for one do not believe in ‘labels’.  Being labeled a  ‘blonde’,  a ‘mum’ or a (hiss) ‘stay at home mum’ the list is endless. Labels are left open to so many ridiculous connotations. I suffered quite severely at the hands of bullies during my schooling days. During these dark times, countless people told me that it was because I was ‘different’ or ‘pretty’ (I struggle even writing that now Cringe! Pretty?) & I just couldn’t fathom this. I saw no difference between my contemporaries & me. I didn’t see people as a label even back then. As it so happened, years later & by chance I crossed paths with one of these said ‘bullies’, & the first words uttered from his mouth materialised into a full-blown apology for his behaviour way back when. Turns out all those wise voices were right, he ‘fancied’ me. Go figure. I’m not after any sympathy votes, if it wasn’t for these vile individuals & their actions towards me then, I wouldn’t have turned into the character I am today: Strong in my own conviction I feel no pressure to conform to any label. I am ME. I can be a rule unto my own. Yes, this is often viewed as being a pain ‘in ones derrière ’ (oh well) but applauded by many others. Frankly, I am happy being myself & that’s what counts.

This is ME!

This is ME!

Feminism isn‚Äôt a label; its very definition is a collection of movements and ideals, aimed at defining, establishing & defending equality & rights for women. It can be a way of life for some. Yet, if you‚Äôre a woman who freely admits to being a ‚Äòfeminist‚Äô, well you‚Äôre a brave soul! Feminists & the feminism movement tend to get such a bad reputation in the press. Admittedly certain celebrities‚Äô individuals, who splash themselves around in the national media, suffocation us with their somewhat skewed opinions, make the situation that much worse. I‚Äôm not asking for a fight, as all feminism is personal. It‚Äôs the experiences & opportunities we encounter. I am confident in my opinions and I‚Äôm strong enough in my ‚Äòsense of self‚Äô, that I don‚Äôt feel the need to shout from the rafters my beliefs. If however, that‚Äôs your style then good on you. & If you wish to pin a label upon me, I am ok with this. After all it‚Äôs of no significance to me, just a bunch of letters meaning sweet FA nothing. If asked, even I couldn‚Äôt accurately define myself, partly because I don‚Äôt want to be ‚Äòdefined‚Äô but also because depending on what time of the day you ask me, I could be a multitude of sociological labels! I believe I am a feminist. We are all born equals. Society, & the pressures involved to ‚Äòconform‚Äô & to fit a ‚Äòlabel‚Äô far too easily take this essence away. Fundamentally, I support the rights and equality of women, in my own unique way. An example like ‚Äòtaking your husbands‚Äô surname in marriage, to me, in no way undervalues your ‚Äòfeminism‚Äô beliefs. Yes, you part ways with an element of your ‚Äòidentity‚Äô that you‚Äôve grown used to & proud of over the years, but a mere name should not define your ideals (it doesn’t define you). Again, it‚Äôs all personal choice. The fact that some couples flip the conventional name lark on it‚Äôs head & adopt the wife‚Äôs‚Äô surname, shows to some extent the acceptance & understanding that exists within society.

I'm married & I took his last name, as a show of unity. Does this make me any less of a feminist? I don't think so.

I’m married & I took his last name, as a show of unity. Does this make me any less of a feminist? I don’t think so.

I praise all those women who have the gumption to stand up against society for the right reasons in the face of adversity, with the determination to succeed in achieving true equality: Malala Yousafzai, the young girl from Pakistan, Is such an absolute inspiration & example of feminism in its purest form for the present time. http://www.flickr.com/photos/114665175@N07/12824650005/ In this day & age it can be taken far too much for granted though, how far equality has come, yet it still has so much more to achieve. We should recognise strong women like Germaine Greer leading the pack back in the seventies. Regardless if you agree with her opinions or not, (I respect her work, but shrug off a fair amount of her opinions too). There’s no doubt she made some massive waves in the feminism movement. So there we have it. I’m a feminist. Minus the ‘moon cup’ endorsing -why would you, why? Actually, don’t answer that! (If you’re asking ‘what is a moon cup’, that my dear is what Google was invented for) & not a hairy armpit in sight!

I’m not an activist; I don’t look for controversy. I’m not a political person, but I’m a person with compassion. I care passionately about equal rights. I care about human rights’ – Ellen Degeneres

More than anything, I want to raise my son to be proud of his mummy, & have the upmost respect for women: for him to hold the belief that anything is possible in life if you’re willing to put in the hard graft. & If nothing else, I truly think women of the ‘feminism’ moment demonstrate this to the highest level.

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13 Comments

  1. MrsCoolBananas
    02/04/2014 / 3:10 PM

    Hey V, thanks for the wonderful comment. Feminism Rocks, woo hooo xx

  2. MrsCoolBananas
    02/04/2014 / 3:08 PM

    Thanks so much for your kind comments, & really pleased you liked this post! #allaboutyou

  3. 01/04/2014 / 6:20 AM

    Such a well written, powerful post lady and I totally agree with Mama and More and Mother & Wife’s comments above, I understand the connontations of the word have become somewhat distorted but for me it’s always been a vital label, something to be proud of-with a a feminist mother I was given a badge aged 2 which said Women together are strong-I agree it’s about kindness and empathy, understanding that we are all different. I had a tough time at school too-an all girl’s school as a teenager is a nightmare sadly but now 33 it’s been my late 20’s and 30’s around the time of children that I feel more confident than ever-‘this is me’-love that, thank you so much for this x

  4. 31/03/2014 / 7:15 PM

    “I want to raise my son to be proud of his mummy, & have the upmost respect for women: for him to hold the belief that anything is possible in life if you‚Äôre willing to put in the hard graft. & If nothing else, I truly think women of the ‚Äòfeminism‚Äô moment demonstrate this to the highest level”.

    SO true! Feminism rocks, feminism is essential. Thanks so much for linking up to #AllAboutYou

  5. MrsCoolBananas
    25/03/2014 / 3:46 PM

    My thoughts exactly! I’m a positive person & wanted to share a positive opinion on feminism, so I’m pleased that came across in the post. xx

  6. MrsCoolBananas
    25/03/2014 / 3:39 PM

    Thank you, i hope so too! Thanks so much for visiting & leaving a comment xx

  7. 23/03/2014 / 8:44 PM

    Great post. I get tired of people running down the notion of feminism. Always nice to find another feminist. 🙂 #sharewithme

  8. 23/03/2014 / 6:23 AM

    What a fab post- I couldn’t agree more and I am sure you will raise your son to be as thoughtful and insightful as you
    x x

  9. MrsCoolBananas
    20/03/2014 / 10:49 PM

    Thanks for your comment Zaz, & taking the time to visit! I know feminism is a subject close to your heart, & therefore even more pleased you liked this post. It was really difficult to write, & I had so much more to say but I found it hard to express it all in a productive way. I couldn’t agree with you more about men being feminists: I contribute one of the main reasons to my beliefs, being my Dad & his strong feminism views. I’m so appreciate to have had his strong beliefs, his level headedness & together with my Mum as such excellent role models. & Yes! to a less judge-wudge society.. For differences of options make the world go around, kind of! I think we should all take note of your points, and try to be less judgemental of each other & kinder to one another. Thanks again lovely xx

  10. 20/03/2014 / 9:59 PM

    Brilliant post missus! I think that the term “feminism” has become fogged up with stereotypes and misunderstandings, and agree that fundamentally it is about choice. I also strongly believe in not judging others – our greatest weapon as feminists, as in the recent Huff Post Women article, is kindness. Women for each other and together have incredible energy that is transformative and powerful. The other thing that I think can be forgotten is that men can be feminists too, it’s about believing in and championing (loudly or through actions) equal rights and opportunities for both sexes, not playing one off against the other. X

  11. MrsCoolBananas
    19/03/2014 / 9:24 PM

    Hey Jenny, Thanks for all your kind words & the super great linky! I too have been enjoying my voyage of discovery over on letstalkmummy…you have the most beautiful bubbas & you’re stunning. Looking forward to learning more & getting to know you as we continue on our crazy journey of motherhood. xx

  12. 19/03/2014 / 7:15 PM

    Awesome post! Thank you ever so much for sharing it. Such powerful words. And love love the photo of you! Glad your bully came back to apologize life is too short. I love your blog, so glad you introduced yourself I am loving reading and getting to know you and your lovely blog. Thanks for linking up with Share With Me linky. #sharewithme

  13. 19/03/2014 / 6:33 PM

    Great post and I agree a with a lot of what you say. I believe in equal rights and hate the way many women are still treated across the world, but I also recognise how fortunate we are in this country for how far we have come, thanks to many strong women. But sometimes people take it too far and I feel that often they are just trying to make a point for the sake of it and that is where feminism gets such a bad name. I am a SAHM and I took my husbands name, but I felt that was my choice and that part of feminism is being able to choose the more traditional roles, or to choose to work or keep your own name. For me that’s the crux of feminism, the fact that we now have the right to choose what is best for us, whereas in the past, there was no choice. great post! #sharewithme xx

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